Sweetpea Bicycles

In this last year, I started getting used to being thirty and sort of settled into my own version of adulthood. Now thirty-one, I know a few things that I am good at, and a few things that I will always love to do, but will never be good at.

I know my guilty pleasures (Oprah Magazine, if you must know) and I know my limits (one martini, never two). I know which of my dreams I will act on and which I prefer as dreams. I think at some point I stopped seeing myself in a myriad of potential futures, and started treating what I was doing right now - often mundane, sometimes remarkable- as what I will be when I grow up.

Mammas don’t let your babies grow up to be framebuilders. I think it was the wise Willie Nelson who said that. Nevermind, we understand the larger truth: not even Mamma can determine what drives you. And it strikes me as profound good fortune to stop expecting so much to become something; and just to get down to the business of being it.

One of the distinct benefits of getting comfy in my own skin is that I knew exactly what gift to give myself for my birthday. After waiting in line like everyone else, I built myself a bike.

(The Birthday Bike)

I had been fantasizing about this bike for a while, thinking about its design, what color it would be, and where it would take me. For the longest time, I wanted a racing bike, sleek and fast. I wanted a bike that would be ridden everyday, as comfy as a favorite pair of jeans. I wanted a bike that would be a companion to all of my adventures. I wanted a bike that was painted a simple dignified black. But with sparkles! But it also had to be a daring, vibrant red. Or was it more of a poppy color? I wanted a perfect bike with no compromises.

But of course this is impossible. The real and best gift I gave myself was starting on a bike that would be less than perfect. A bike that I could ride, not in one of my potential futures as an elite racer (HA!) or world traveler, but here and now by the woman who rides Germantown with gusto, and like to go bike camping, and may just take a trip down the coast. I made choices. I chose fender and rack eyelets for everyday riding, and couplers so it could join me on every adventure. It started looking less like the sleek racing machine, and more like an all ’rounder bike. It started looking a bit more like me.

And the color? I decided on lavender paint, which reminds me of nothing I own, but looks like a color that someone who loved me would choose for me. Happy birthday and thanks. I love it already.