In the genre of comment cards, content typically falls into two categories (this sucks/this is great), and style is all but absent. It is all message, and no real consideration for the reader. I mean, who really takes time to think of the person whose task it is to sit and wade through the 30 second message from consumer to corporation? Someone has to read these. Where is the humanity? Gone from what I can tell.
That is why Natalie and I have gotten into the habit of writing comment card haikus. Granted, writing a haiku is fun, but I should clarify that we don’t fill these cards out willy-nilly. To date, we have had two glorious examples, and today we even had a haiku-off.
The first comment card haiku we did was for a specific food stuff at the deli counter at Whole Foods. The culprit was the “Buddha’s Jewels.” Ingredients: Peanut Butter, Water Chestnuts, Bell Peppers, Sesame Seeds, Tofu, Soy sauce, and a healthy dose of bad intestinal karma. The comment card said:
Tried the Buddha’s Jewels
Attained perfect enlightenment
Rumble in the Bronx
We are happy to report that the Buddha’s Jewels disappeared from the deli line up for about a month after the comment haiku, although it never made it to the comment board.
Today we had another round of haikus when we discovered that a favorite product from Patagonia was no longer available. The product in question was the Tool Sack, which was a great example of simplicity of design. The Tool Sack was a basic cylindrical container with two straps and a drawstring. The beauty of it was that it could either be carried, or turned into a backpack. Also the inside was yellow, not black, so you could see what you were looking for when you looked inside. It was also discontinued last year.
So like a reluctant samurai drawing her sword, we set to unleash the perfect haiku for the Patagonia comment card. We came up with three, and then had a haiku-off with the Patagonia employees as judges. The winner:
Look into the Void
It has a yellow bottom
Bring back the Tool Sack
With such Zen-like clarity and power put to paper, we expect to see the Tool Sack back in production for spring.
just ran into this when i was looking up the patagonia tool sack. i have one, but i wondered why they’re not selling them on the website anymore! everyone thinks my bag is awesome. i wonder why they don’t make them.